At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
