i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
