YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't deserve a penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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