Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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