i love accidental penises.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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