Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
