the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
