I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
