if only i could text you this smell
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
