Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
organizing the empties. That sober.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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