How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
