Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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