I don't think brook has ever known best
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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