The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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