So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
