he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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