the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
