Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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