white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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