I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
