Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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