Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
