She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
