Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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