in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
