A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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