i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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