At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
