i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
