smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
