im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
