My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
