were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
FUCK WHALES
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
