I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
