So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
