Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
