omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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