Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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