i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i think i just lost a toe
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
