That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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