Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
