i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
