in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
