PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
