My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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