That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
