does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
