omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
