Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
