the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
