there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
